In my church there is a lady named Rose who exhibits very little self-care. She is a woman dedicated to the needs of others, has an extremely compassionate heart, and has difficulty saying no. Due to her inability to establish strong boundaries, she is a woman who is often misunderstood and therefore used by others. Because she seems to rarely directly confront, she gets into many frustrating circumstances and is forced to either take care of far more than an average volunteer should have to, or has to bow out of duties, therefore letting some down. I have learned from Rose to be very direct in what I actually want to do and what I don’t. Otherwise, people take advantage of statements which are open for debate. Therefore, if I want to avoid feeling used, I need to emphasize clarity in communication and lay appropriate boundaries.
A good example of self-care is another woman who is close to me named Roberta. Roberta has a very solid relationship with God and tries to pray about everything before she commits to it. She is also very straightforward in her communication; there is no questioning what her intent was. She sets solid boundaries and confronts if she thinks it is necessary. These things help protect her from burnout and preserve self-care. I can learn how to say no, set up boundaries, clearly communicate, and seek God in all I do from her example.
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