6. Communication

As I read the text and reflected on the listening self-evaluation, I had the realization that communication, while being regularly engaged in, is not something we normally think about. So in response to the question of my communication style, after mulling over it, I came to the conclusion that a singular communication style was not possible for me to settle on. Therefore, I am a self-proclaimed unassertive/assertive communicator. While my communication almost never falls into the aggressive style and mostly stays within the assertive area, there are times where I find myself being unassertive. For example, if someone asks me to take a shift at work I only feel comfortable saying no if there is a definite reason for me to do so. Otherwise, I remain avoidant of them, say yes when I really don’t want to work for them, and am completely uncomfortable until I tell them no.

As far as listening communication goes, I scored above average in listening; however, I am aware that this is a self-evaluation and I may be biased. While I scored myself highly in most areas, there were a few distinct points where I saw a need of improvement in. One of these is something I began to recognize earlier this year and this is my poor habit of interrupting. I get so excited with a thought that I feel the need to jump in with my idea! However, this is an area I am going to work on improving by being aware of the issue. Another listening area I am weak in is that I tend to give advice when someone confides in me, whether it was asked for or not. In the future I plan on holding back in this area or at least asking if they want my advice.

Unintentionally related to communication is the ethical dilemma I encountered. While counseling at a Bible camp one summer, a co-counselor and friend of mine had a camper who told her something in confidence. The secret ended up being about a terrible situation of abuse that this young person had endured; my friend was left wondering whether she needed to report this situation or whether she should keep it a secret, given that she had been told on the condition that she never tell anyone. My friend eventually decided along the lines of care-based thinking, where she reported the situation, although it the girl may not have wanted her to at the time, because it was for her greatest good and was something my friend would have wanted done for her if she in that situation.